the thing is all I wanna do it help you out clean your place for your party tomorrow…I know its stupid of me but I feel that you of all ppl deserve to have a good party.
ugh…what a sap I am.
All I wanted to do was talk to you tonite…hang out and know whats up in your life…but then I know that i would want to ask questions…as it is I drop barbed comments to try and make you squirm…sorta how you do Lindsey.
I tried to be aloof and distant tonite…self defense i suppose. I wished you were not in the next room when I was trying to talk to Justina. Im not gonna lie on one hand I wanted to show you that I can talk to women…on the other hand it felt trite and I wished you would just go in the back and hang with your friend lindsey whose nite it was anyway.
When you came to hug me and tell me that you were tired and you wanted to sleep…it was all I could do to tell you go upstairs and I would be up in a bit….but that was another time and another set of ppl…and besides I wouldn’t want to have to hear all the text alerts.
UGH……I wanted to kiss you good night after I hugged you, I wanted to hug to matter, so I hugged you like I meant it. You hugged back but I think it was more out of social reaction…whatever. Then I called out after you left. God what a fag.
My friend “needs” me there tomorrow…but I’m look for ANY excuse not to go…I would rather go blind than see you with him.
Im gonna throw up all my self respect.